According to the well-known thought experiment, the infinite monkeys theorem, a monkey randomly pressing keys on a typewriter for an infinite amount of time would eventually type out the complete works of William Shakespeare purely by chance.

Yet a new analysis by two mathematicians in Australia finds that even a troop might not have the time to do so within the supposed timeframe of the universe.

To find out, the duo created a model that includes 30 keys – all the letters in the English language plus punctuation marks. They assumed a constant chimpanzee population of 200,000 could be enlisted to the task, each typing at one key per second until the end of the universe in about 10¹⁰⁰ years.

“We decided to look at the probability of a given string of letters being typed by a finite number of monkeys within a finite time period consistent with estimates for the lifespan of our universe,” notes mathematician Stephen Woodcock from the University of Technology Sydney.

The mathematicians found that there is only a 5% chance a single monkey would type “bananas” within its own lifetime of just over 30 years. Yet even with all the chimps feverishly typing away, they would not be able to produce Shakespeare’s entire works (coming in at over 850,000 words) before the universe ends. They would, however, be able to type “I chimp, therefore I am”.

“It is not plausible that, even with improved typing speeds or an increase in chimpanzee populations, monkey labour will ever be a viable tool for developing non-trivial written works,” the authors conclude, adding that while the infinite monkeys theorem is true, it is also “somewhat misleading”, or rather it’s “not to be” in reality.